Everything About You
by somandalicious
Summary: A crack songfic oneshot. A little story about Draco and how he feels about a particular person. Based on the song by Ugly Kid Joe


**Everything About You**

Draco could not stand the rain. It would leave a strange, musky scent upon the earth, that caused him great discomfort. Besides the drops left annoying water marks upon the fabric of his expensive robes. Draco felt it made him look second-hand, much similar to a Weasley. He glanced behind himself and cursed under his breath. The heaviness of the moisture would not allow the cloth to billow in the fashion he preferred. Feckin' rain. It ruined his mood, and yet, he did not care for the sunny weather either. Even miniscule exposure would cause his fair skin to pink and well, a Malfoy should never appear flushed. Oh, no, it was a sign of weakness, and Draco could not tolerate that.

That afternoon, though, he was hiking up a mountain with every seventh year in the spring drizzle, much to his dismay. He hated mountains and could not fathom why anyone in their right mind would climb one just to study a bloody meteor shower for Astronomy. It was absurd! Truly, and Draco let his nose pull into a disgusted sneer. He wished he was anywhere but there. However the polar opposite of mountains, (i.e. the beach) did not agree with him either. Because sand always found its way into the most uncomfortable and inconvenient of places. As said previously, Malfoys did not abide uneasiness.

Upon very nearly stumbling, he glanced around to make sure nobody noticed, (It would not due, for anyone to witness him being anything, but perfection.) and at that precise moment caught a glimpse of even more disturbing behavior. Which only furthered his brooding discomfort and yet, simultaneously gave Draco a door to place his blame. Ronald Weasley had picked a wild flower to adorn Hermione Granger's tangled locks. Her reaction was laughter accompanied by a twirl into his arms, where she left a chaste smooch on his ugly, freckled cheek.

Draco rolled his eyes and concurrently his damp robes snagged on a thorny bush. The blasted object received a crushing kick as he scowled and yanked the material free. " The countryside is effing despicable!" he murmured with antipathy.

Pansy Parkinson giggled richly and placed a small palm on his shoulder in contemptuous reassurance. "Ah yes love, true as that may be, it could be far worse. I remember a particular rant about the city, in which all those strange and filthy people felt the need to enter your personal space." She tut-tutted and gave her head a wobble that spoke of her faux-pity, a teasing smile tracing her cheek. "Imagine the nerve of them touching poor Draco. At least you don't have to worry about that here."

He shrugged off her hand rudely to remind her that she was in fact invading his territorial bubble. he did not appreciate her mockery at all, and hoped his gesture proved that. And well, he was irritated as he watched Weasley still attempt to flirt with Hermione with unabashed fortitude. Draco decided, above all things, he detested Weasley the most.

Soon they arrived to a clearing near the peak, where three colorful tents were stationed. Magical tents of course, otherwise, how could the small structures oblige all thirty-six of the students? There was one for the boys, one for the girls, and oh, yes, do not forget that the four accompanying Professors would need a place to rest as well. Once everyone was settled into their respective places, each student began to set up their telescopes at dusk. Thankfully, the rain had vanished and the twilight sky was clear.

Draco established his rear onto the stool and positioned his telescope in the proper direction. Despite his prior mood, he was a bit excited about this outing. He enjoyed star-gazing after all, because he, like most young men, found anything to do with gas amusing. No matter what form it came in. Until that time came, as it was still early in the evening, he needed a distraction from the impending boredom.

As luck (good or bad, depending on how one viewed such matters) would have it, Hermione, Weasley and Potter were gathered near Draco, and he overheard their conversation. He decided that being a right foul git and intruding on their tête-à-tête would bring loads of entertainment until the meteor shower was visible. He leaned back and directed an ear waiting for the right moment.

"…and Mum said if you get bored you can come visit us at the Burrow. You know Dad would love the chance to pick your brain about Muggles…" Came from Weasley's right annoying mouth as he addressed Potter. All the while, a lanky arm around Hermione's shoulders.

Ever being the opportunist, Draco took this as his cue, and in a quite indolent burr said, "Shut it, Weasel. Potty doesn't want to spend his holiday in your filth. So kindly stop broadcasting it to the mountain."

"Piss off, Malfoy." Potter spat lowly, as if he could ever sound menacing.

But Draco continued nonetheless, as could be expected, "There's nothing to like about your Mother, she's far too saccharine sweet to be genuine. As for your Daddy, well he'd probably blind Potter further with the glare from his extremely bald head."

At this, Weasley decided…well actually did not decided at all, it was more of a thoughtless action that sprang from complete adrenaline. Either way, he lunged at Draco with a screech. However, Hermione and Potter were quicker and caught Weasley mid-leap, which in turn caused the tall bloke to fall unceremoniously upon the ground. He continued to struggle and appear twitchy. No young man, ever, should appear twitchy, it could give a girl reason to believe that although the mall is open, nobody is shopping. And no witch wants a mentally unstable boyfriend.

Draco smirked because he never fully learned to smile appropriately. Genuine grins of pleasure did not suit a Malfoy and would cause one to look a bit…well sweet and endearing. Not conniving and threatening as was required. But, do not despair, he was still enjoying the confrontation more than he should. "Come of the pity party. I hate your mother, father, and every one of your brothers. This is not news Weaselbee. " He crossed his arms arrogantly over his puffed chest, in a measure that only accentuated his gloating.

As Weasley wriggled in the restraining hands of his best friend. His girlfriend, being the loving supporter, said quite crossly, "You have a really bad attitude Draco Malfoy."

He gave a golden laugh. One that caused him to hunch over and grip his stomach with hysterics. "Please. That doesn't change the way I feel. Even with the _bad_ attitude, I'd still feel like retching at the foul stench that follows him." and if she thought her reprimanding statement would bring him to realization, she was terribly mistaken. As, by the look upon her pert face, she could tell, for he was most decidedly not wearing a frown.

Hermione rolled her eyes and snorted, but Potter, with his must-be-the-hero syndrome, said, "Ignore him, mate. He's just trying to get a rise from you. Remember what Ginny said? He only acts that way because he's jealous and lonely."

Draco sobered immediately and strode forward. His mind was quick with a retort, because the truth was, he really did not care for the little Weasel sister either, "Forget that little bitch. I already kissed her and chucked her." and he huffed a grin, no, a leer of satisfaction.

It all happened very quickly, as things of that hostile nature usually do. Potter and Weasley both moved to grab the Slytherin, but Hermione and Pansy (Pansy? Where ever did she come from? Although the small crowd forming was a fantastic answer to that loaded question) moved between the three young men.

Hermione was pushing Draco back, both hands pressed forcefully against his still damp chest, and was harshly telling him to behave. Pansy was hefting Weasley and Potter to the best of her ability. She used all her weight, which was not much, but seemed to suffice. She was stronger than she appeared, and well, dynamite comes in small packages. Finally however she grasped each boy by his ear and twisted quiet hard, causing them to fall to their knees with twin howls of pain.

Draco peered down at Hermione and said the first thing he could think. "And Weasley, I'll tell you what I did to Ms. Granger! I put her on my bed, and the randy witch didn't even say maybe." Because she did not say anything coherent, as Draco recalled, in fact, she made noises of encouragement. After all, she was a hot-blooded woman who needed that kind of man-handling.

Unlike that night weeks ago, Hermione currently froze to the spot and squeaked in disbelief, both hands covering her mouth.

Pansy released the blokes' ears and ran her palm down her face and muttered her chagrin.

Weasley choked, bug-eyed and Potter let the meaning of Draco's remark fully wash over him.

As for Draco, he smiled. A full-on, face-stretching, smile that made him appear sweet and endearing. Although he was not sweet or endearing. He was mean and tactless. However, he was thoroughly pleased with himself because he was having a blast. The best part of it, was everybody knew that while Draco carried many unpleasant and foul characteristics, he was most definitely not a liar.

Tears filled Hermione's eyes, "How could you?" she whispered, because she had trusted him, that was her nature, and could not help herself. Never did she dream that he would go this far. Especially after all the promises he said. The poor dear, should know that he used all knowledge to his advantage.

Pansy covered her mouth with authentic compassion and shook her head, as it was, she was also ashamed of Draco. She felt betrayed, but not for the reasons one might think. He was not behaving in a way that supported the feelings he expressed to her concerning the Gryffindor know-it-all.

"Say it isn't so." Weasley breathed, albeit he knew it was indeed so. He should retaliate, defend her honor, but the instant heartbreak overrode his usual impetuousness. All he could do was catch his breath and lean against Potter.

Speaking of Potter, he simply thumbed his nose at Hermione with disdain , which caused the girl to wail loudly and her legs to give out. He did not look back as he helped his best mate away through the crowd.

Because Draco was reveling in triumph, he did not notice Pansy's nudges. She gave up after two, and went to Hermione, taking her into her arms for consoling, while the darling girl threw Draco reproachful scowls, and Pansy felt he deserved more than that from Hermione. After all, he had just ruined her social life.

He should have done the calming, because she is really the sole motive for his hateful behavior. She was the complete reason why Draco hated everything about Weasley. Because the freckled-face wanker had her.

Maybe one day she would forgive Draco for his insensitivity, but not that night. Perhaps everything would be as it should and that is the mindset Draco used. He did feel remorseful. A wee bit. As it were, he was still getting used to many emotions that sprung from his interactions with Hermione. As for the entire ordeal, he exercised the theory, that since he knew where it all came from, he would know how it would all end up going. All he had to do, is wait for her to approach him again, smile, and kiss her silly. He did realize he would have to practice apologizing. Another action he was not good at. But as he saw it, he had a few days before he would have to apply it.

And you, my pets, dear reader, and fellow shippers, might think this story is sad, and that he was totally wrong, but Draco cannot possibly care. He was having a gas hating everything about Weasley.

_A/N: I did this out of sheer boredom because I heard the song on my playlist and I started laughing. The song "Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe, is perfect for my dear Draco. and the story quickly formulated in my head. I took a new approach and wrote the story as if I was telling it aloud. I hope that it gives it a playful and sarcastic ambience, because that is what I get from the song. This hasn't been beta'd, and probably should be, yet, I figured it was just a spit of fun, so, (shrug) I didn't feel it needed to be. I really enjoy reviews. They make my mundane life exciting._


End file.
